What excites me?
I am excited to engage in meaningful work with colleagues, to explore topics which have hovered at the peripheral of my mind, to push my boundaries outward. I am looking forward to writing more about issues which concern me. I hope that having this degree will lead to more job security.
At the end of this, I will be Dr. Hyson.
Damn, that feels good.
What concerns me?
Time. I have a full plate. I live with chronic pain. I work full time. I am a partner and mom. I worry that I will burn out and have to step back from this work. I am not concerned whether I am mentally capable of completing this program, but whether I am physically capable.
My thoughts and feelings:
Whew. I expected to feel anxiety. Anxiety has been a companion of mine from childhood. While I clearly do have some concerns, they have not blossomed into anxiety. I do use anxiety meds, so that is likely having some impact, but there have still been times when the anxiety is there.
In place of that anxiety I expected is confidence in my own academic abilities. I spent far too many years of my life feeling inferior, feeling like academic achievement was beyond me. It took a lot of work to get past this and arrive at a place where I know my abilities and my limitations.
One of my limitations is the ability to make friends. As an introvert with a brain which does not work quite like others do, I often miss social cues and have difficulty getting close to people. Luckily, I seem to be surrounded by extroverts who are willing to adopt me into their world of normal people.
