Day 5 of Classes

 (Sorry - no entry for last week, conferences with professor and asynchronous class)

But while those conferences and distance learning were going on, I was creating this image in my head as I thought about gathering information.

You stand in a vast field which has been planted with many types of grains. All around you there are tall stalks of wheat and rye, sorghum and corn, barley. Some of it is easy to recognize - separating out the corn is easy - but others are similar in appearance, especially if you are not accustomed to identifying grains. You only need one type of grain, though. So, how do you find it and separate it from the others in this vast field? Taking a scythe to the field, cutting it all down, and sorting by grain would not only waste a tremendous amount of time, but what are you going to do with all the grain you do not intend to use?

Eventually, after considering several different methods, you realize you entered the field without enough knowledge. So you retreat and find all the identifying characteristics you need to know which stalks of grain to cull from the field.

Research can be like that.

There are vast databases of articles. You can wade into them with a question, and in return get flooded with thousands of articles, many of which are irrelevant to what you really want to know. This is why it is so important to have a clear idea of what you want when you go searching for articles. If you know the terms which apply to your articles, then you can sort through that mass of articles to find those which you need.

This usually happens for me without much thought. I mull over ideas for weeks, months, before I go into my university's library system to find sources. That mulling refines my thinking and gives me narrowed search parameters. I still end up with more articles than I need, or sometimes with not enough from a search to confining, but I am ready to redefine and continue.

Some call that mulling procrastination.

I have been prone to procrastinate throughout my years of schooling. I can recall many all-nighters full of anxiety, frustration, and sometimes tears. It took years for me to reconcile myself with procrastination, to stop condemning myself for a pattern of behavior which I could not break.

Eventually, I learned to embrace the procrastination and see the value within it. All the time I am putting off a task, my mind is working on it, mulling, tumbling it about like rocks to polish them into a beautiful shine. All this work makes the task ahead easier to accomplish.

With this knowledge and acceptance of my thought and work patterns, I came to understand that I could put off tasks without anxiety, so long as I assure I have a block of time to complete them before I need to pass them over to someone else.

Instead of, "Why did you wait so long, don't you know it's due tomorrow?" I can tell myself, "Okay, you've been contemplating this for days, weeks, and now it is time to commit the hours you need to complete the work."

It has been freeing, beautiful.

It allows me to pour over the mass of articles early in the process, get them ready, and set them aside until I need them.

It helps me plan ahead, knowing how much time it takes me to write a given amount of text.

Cross your fingers that it continues to work with this doctoral process.